Uneasy at FIRST..
*hey. frankly speakin. d u know tt im startin to feel tired..
almost abt everything. hmm.
how i wished sometyms i shld mayb jus let go.
jus lyk josh when he initially wanted to walk off n say "Fine!
it doesnt concerns me anymore?" hmm..
tho he didnt end up tt way. haiz.
practically, no1 knows hw im realli feelin
abt myself in e band n church. yupp.
*.: Dun worry, we are in the band together.
we can solve every problem,
giving up wont be the solution.
we can do it together,
as long as we persevere.
(i didnt reply at first..)
*.: u got sth to say?
(i decided to reply afterall..)
* "dun worry?" ~ "we're a band together?" ~
euu dunno much abt hw one can feel helpless/useless
n yet eager to feel useful n a sense of belong to e band.
i just shared with dorcas, only she knows tt i feel v
exhausted already abt servin God this way,
cause im fellin tt im drying up rapidly.
im all alone in e desert.. =/
*.: but all the while, i feel tt u hav always been
the most attentive n sensitive to changes.
and also always the most punctual.
but its true, we can serve until we feel lyk throwin in the towel.
But Thank God tt we are still ard today.
Its realli his grace tt we are still here today and its realli God's blessin to have
u in the team together with us.
Seriously speackin, if u did nt help us with the scores,
we wouldnt be able to play so well.
Well, its ok if we lost the momentem sometyms,
pick yourself up and move on!
if we hav a dream and a vision frm haven,
thr will surely be resistance. But if we do nt lose HOPE,
we will reap a Harvest in due season.
U are valuable to our team, i really believe dat
God put me hr todae so tt we can realli move together as a team.
dun giv up sista! ur desert will become a stream tt will give life to people.
U can be a gd influence in the band! Smile!
things are nt always so smooth sailing,
but u can always smile
no matter what! Yay!
*: ths 4 e compliment. it's e lil thing tt i do tt makes a diff.
but hw i hope tt be it in life/skills, i can do it much more than i cn expect.
but i lack e much needed encouragement concern from e band.
it also applies to cell grp. do u know tt no one ever calls or sms me?
i be frank with ya. in a wk, ~No. how abt a month, not even once anyone ask abt me. hw's life, wrk, studies. have i done bible readin? can we pray together?
anything tt happened today wanna share? u understand wad im referin to?
i tried findin one or two but it seems they're too busy.
does it really happened to euu b4? has anyone motivate euu n
makes u fell u're being missed? :X
*.: Ya, i was in that same situation. for many years i felt rather lonely.
until God put me in the band and God put me to Lead TN1.
then i realised tt i need to build on my relationships with ppl.
ya, i also learnt tt the best way to hav friends is to first be a friend. ya...
*: yes. tt's right. but u see. arent i in e band n TN4 just as u are nw?
arent i fwenly enuff to be a fwen to others?
i did take steps into being fwens to others..
but sometyms it'll just u feel u might be disturbing dem.
yupp. it's just lyk when i msg u. e most it's just "wad are the songs for tmr?"
than e conversation just stops thr. No topic. no idea abt the person.
doin well or not. it also happens to the rest of the ppl too.
no laughters, memories to keep in mind.. u know, servin God isnt jus
abt playin n worshipping, fellowshipping wif e rest buildin e bond ish
also e most impt. if very1 has to wait 4 musician's camp than start talkin
n gettin urself updated abt e recent happenin of ur fwens,
tt 3 days camp isnt enuff 2 tell it all. its a everyday thing.
u dun jus come on thurs n say "Shawn we love you?"
it's suppose 2 b a everyday basis. who knows e nxt camp,
only mite left a few tt attend. u c e diff frm sgp n skudai.
how's e relationship bet. themselves compared to us.
i tell ya for me i also have no clue wad ya been up to cause y?
e relationship isnt thr. it's jus "wad r e songs 4 tmr?" get it?.. :X
(didnt wait for him to reply.. i sent another..)
*: hey. im sry tt i took ur tym. think we better go slp.
btw, pls rmb wad i said. yupp. n thanks for listening. TC!
thx for being thr for me brother when i needed a listenin ear.
u're greatly loved n appreciated.
thx 4 ur love n encouragement.
good nights- cya ltr! ^_^v
(time 3am+)
*.: haha. im jus afraid tt u will exceed ur sms usage.
time spent is ok. im doin my assignmt nw. Gd nyt.
*: hey. it's ok. anyways, thank you 4 spendin tym talkin to me.
yuppx hw come do assignment until soo late at night.
hmm. enugg slp or not? gosh. TC ar bro..
(conversation ended-last msg sent was in the morning 8am+ aft i woke up)
Thank God cos he gave me a friend unknowingly~
right in front of me..HAiX.. _satisfied girl*
